
This is a topic that I’ve been thinking about for a few hours today. I contemplated whether or not this is a discussion I’d like to have on here at this point, but I think I’m in a good position to talk about how to do what I want in life.
I’ve been taking a little bit of a look around Successful Affiliate and noticed one of my old posts about gaining success of move on. It’s important for me to re-read my posts and to take notes, because somehow I manage to forget my thoughts, and the things I discovered and learned at the time.
Since reading that post I realised that there were a couple of gems in the comments section. Roger from Compatible Poker suggested that I hang out the beach because it’s great for clearing the mind. It must have only been a matter of days after reading this that I went to visit my Grandfather who lives at the beach and did some soul searching.
I can remember vividly floating in the ocean and thinking about where I want my life to go. It was clear as day, at that moment my thoughts seemed to click. Within 24 hours I had booked a one-way ticket to Thailand.
The second bit of advice comes from Graham at iPokerAffiliate. At that time he was working out three times a week and looking for something else to do part time. It was in response to me basically failing with my lifestyle choices and looking for a way to improve it.
The post itself was about finding success, or throwing in the towel. I wasn’t earning a great deal of cash and was unhappy with my lifestyle. I even took some pictures and did my measurements so I could track how my progress was doing. There was a list of weekly goals, which I of course never completed.
It’s interesting for me to read this now because my thoughts change so rapidly and I manage to forget them and not actually realise my problems and mistakes and then learn from them.
At that time I reported that my weight was 180.4 pounds and that I was unhappy because I was out of shape. Well fast forward 12 months and I’m in the exact same position in terms of lifestyle issues.
I actually weighed myself when I was in Denver and I weighed 192.5 pounds, an increase of 12 pounds in 12 months. Sleeping patterns are the same ridiculous hours and my Acne is back. I have been eating healthier when I have the opportunity, but traveling has made this much harder than when I’m at home.
It’s Not All Doom and Gloom
This isn’t a depressing, negative post though. It’s more about learning about me and learning from this knowledge. I am going to be reading some books and doing some self development and Internet marketing type courses. What I’ve learned from my past behaviour is that I need to take notes if I’m to learn anything.
So from now on I’ll be blogging about these programs and books so that not only I learn, but others can learn too. Instead of making outlandish goals like write x pages per week, and do this x times. I’m going to be taking a slow and stead approach to my development. It takes about 21-28 days to change a habit and from what I’ve read it’s best to do one at a time.
What I Want to do in Life
This is what all that background information has been leading up to. In my recent post I mentioned doing what I’m passionate about in life. Afterwards I got involved in a conversation with a friend who said this resonated with him and asked what I want to do in life.
It took me a little bit by surprise because I’ve never really had a good idea of what that is. For some reason though, that has all become a little bit clearer to me now and I have a good indication of what I want to do.
I have a strong interest in topics like personal development, philosophy, fitness and health. So I think it’s only natural that I go down the path of the men’s self development website that I’m going to be working on.
Not only that though, it has always appealed to me to do those life coaching seminars, changing your life, live life to the fullest type “gurus.” Yeah I know right, sounds super corny.
One of the reasons this appeals to me is because I have to become a guru of myself. I am failing in a lot of these areas, even though that’s what I’m interested in.
The other reason I can think of that this appeals to me is because it actually makes a difference in people’s lives. An engineer will help build a village, but someone like me is best suited to influencing people and motivating people to improve their lives.
In a nutshell, what I want to do in life is to succeed at developing myself in all areas. This includes business, health and fitness to just name a few. I want to get so good at it that I can become a life coach and travel the world doing amazing things, conferences and influencing people.
This also ties in with my other major passion of travel. I want to document my adventures of the world and I can do that by going in the life coach direction.
What it comes down to is the fact I don’t want to be a normal person having a normal life. I want to do and be extraordinary.
How I’m Going to Do It
A recent thread on a forum about completing University sparked this thinking for me. I honestly don’t know if I’ll complete my degree, currently I’m leaning towards yes though. I think an influencing factor in that is because of the visa situation in some countries. In some cases the best visa is to get a skilled worker visa, where a degree is necessary. A large part of me though wants to rebel, and really hates the fact that I’d be doing it just because society says so.
It’s such a grind and pain that I can honestly not stand to do the assignments. The course material is actually quite interesting, but bullshitting to University essay styles is not something I’m interested in doing anymore.
I did take a look at personal training courses; yeah this is a bit of a laugh at the moment considering how out of shape I am. But ultimately, I’m going to need to have extensive skills in fitness and health, and this won’t be a bad route to take.
Like I alluded to earlier, there will be plenty of books and self development courses, but the crux of this post is slightly different to that.
When I talk about how I’m going to do what I want in life, it doesn’t necessarily mean the courses or learning I’m going to undertake. I mean in terms of dealing with family, finances and being able to do what I want effectively.
No one has heard the “get a degree” speech more than me. My Sister has two degrees and works for a private equity firm in London. She is forever hassling me saying that I can’t get anywhere in life without a degree because that’s just how the business world works. I even changed Universities to go to a more prestigious one because she said getting a degree from the other one wouldn’t be able to get me a job. I picked up a second degree (Commerce), which I hated, and this is when I started hating study and eventually dropped out.
My mother is more lenient, but still craves the degree. I have some sort of reputation in the family of being wild, so they think I “need” a degree because I’m likely to end up on the streets in Vegas.
My Father tells me to get a real job and his girlfriend tells me I have no morals because I work in gambling.
So basically, yeah I’ve heard it all. Up until recently I was broke my entire life. Still though, I persisted.
For me, even though I was struggling, I knew that this was the direction I wanted to take. I can never see myself working a corporate job, unless it’s running my own company or consulting. I could see the bigger picture and it’s now starting to pay off.
So when I talk about how I’m going to achieve my goal of being a life coach, I mean being able to do it regardless of other people’s opinions, ignorance and self-doubt.
This means that I’m going to have to confront a couple of issues when I get back to Australia, but that’s what it’s going to take. Avoiding outside influences and staying with core beliefs is something that I have struggled with and I’m sure everyone does. I kind of feel brain washed because of society and that’s something I’m definitely interested in working on.
The point here though, is that creating a lifestyle for yourself is something that only you know best. I should never have changed universities, nor picked up a double degree. It’s resulted in me not having a degree and hating study.
The first step is for me to actually do and be successful at life. The first steps include developing this website and my men’s self-development website. That will get the ball rolling on my own personal development and I can begin to develop the skills I need.
So how am I going to get what I want out of life? By trusting my instincts and acting upon it.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Good post man. I believe that when you are more confident in what you are doing, then other people will treat your decisions with more respect. I feel completely at ease with the types of websites that I run and being a part of the online poker industry, so the people in my life do too. If you have any doubt about being in gambling then people will feel that. These are the types of self reinforcing beliefs that other people can help you to see in yourself. Other people are like mirrors.
I think you will do great in the self-development field as long as you truly believe in what you are doing and genuine in your motivation. Good luck man, but I don’t think you need it as long as you stick with it.
I think that you have an awesome attitude dude. It is so easy for people to sit back and tell you how they think you should live your life but I don’t hear any of them actually asking you “What do YOU want out of life?”.
Your belief in yourself is such a powerful thing and something that you should develop and nurture always. There’s that saying, you know, “Whether you believe you can or you believe you can’t, you are right”.
Belief is everything. Be your own religion.
It’s one thing to believe in degrees and “sturdy” jobs, but it is entirely another to push that on someone. Do you think the Donald Trumps and Richard Bransons of the world got to where they are by working for someone else? I don’t.
Be true to yourself dude. Even if these things work or have worked for the people promoting them, that’s them – not you. Be true to you and you can only succeed.
hi Nick,
ive been trying to contact you but can find no other way than this.
please add me on skype so we can chat. username – callumpn
look forward to hearing from you.
Thanks
C
good for you for this discovery.
i guess i don’t understand something in your post…. you state that you don’t think people should have outside influences giving people a notion of what they should desire to get out of life. But being a life/self-help coach seems like quite an outside influence….
maybe i don’t understand what it is to be a life coach and what would qualify someone to be one, but if it does help people, that it’s totally a great thing to be doing.
Woah man, don’t think too much about everything. I’m gonna leave my beloved Germany because I can’t do business here anymore within the next six weeks and the thought of leaving my girlfriend, my friends and my family is really killing me. But I think that if going away from everything is what I have to do in order to live my personal dream, I have some kind of duty to myself to simply pack my things and leave.
Awesome post man! I can really relate to it. I did the whole college, degrees, corporate life thing. I, like you was poor most of my life but I never “did without” anything.
It took me a while before I knew what I wanted to do in life, I just knew what I DIDN’T want to do lol – I’ve always found it easy to give everyone around me solid advice that they could use, and many thanked me later for helping them. I realized I had no good advice for myself, so it took a lot of soul searching.
Anyway, I could fill a page or too responding, but enough to say awesome post and good stuff man!