* Please note, I intended to have an image and photos but it’s not allowing me to upload for some reason.

This is the post that I have been meaning to write ever since I arrived in Bangkok. Even before then, I had plenty to tell, but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to write about it.

A few weeks before I left for Thailand I had my four wisdom teeth out. I was in a fair bit of pain for a few days after, and couldn’t eat much for around a week. It set me back about $1500, but it was better that I got it done in Australia, rather than over here.

After that I went to Sydney and stayed with my cousin Steve. I was there for my brother’s wedding. I was out drinking a fair bit most nights and didn’t really get any work done.

I went out clubbing one night with Steve and Carly which was a good time. We lot Steve for a little while though because he walked off and we couldn’t find him.

Jono’s wedding didn’t have any issues so that was alright. My Dad was there for the wedding itself, but left before the reception. I think it was a big step for him to actually attend because my Mum was there. He hasn’t seen her since the divorce and still has deep issues with something, even though they both have new partners.

It was at Bulli which is just near Wollongong. For the unfamiliar, it is about an hour south of Sydney. It had a panoramic view of the ocean which was awesome. I wasn’t impressed with the facilities themselves though. The place was a bit run down and the rooms we stayed in sucked balls. There was plenty of free grog though, even though I bought my own anyway. For some reason the beer sucked too.

I stayed with Steve for another few days after the wedding and ended up going home with some sort of stomach bug. It took me a fair few days to get over it and I was in quite a fair bit of pain.

I went and saw my Grandfather the following weekend and picked up my Sister from the airport. She had also been in Sydney for Jono’s wedding. It was actually raining for a lot of this time, which Alice (my Sister) wasn’t real impressed with. She had flown in from London and was hoping to catch a few rays.

I loved spending some more time with my Grandfather before I left. We get along great and it’s always a joy hanging around him. He is 88 years old and knows more about computers than most people I know. I have taught him to do a few things and have written out Word documents and printed them for him. He can now go to a torrent site, download a movie or TV show, burn it and then print a label onto it. Talk about a cool gramps!

I went back home for a couple of days and tied up some loose ends and packed my stuff for Melbourne and Thailand, then headed off. I didn’t even bother to say any goodbyes, have farewell drinks or anything like that. My whole life I have been like that, don’t really know why. I think it has something to do with keeping my business and life to myself, even though I don’t necessarily want to do that.

I arrive in Melbourne for 3 nights, and had a great time. The first night it was just my Sister and I staying at the hotel. We went for a BBQ and drinks at my cousins’ house, who was getting married (Steve’s Sister). Except for one guy who though it was necessary to be the attention seeker of the night, it was fun.

The second day we had my Mum there, and things get a little heated. My family has already been dysfunctional, and we started to get a bit on edge. That night we went to my other cousin’s house (Steve’s other Sister) and had another BBQ and drinks.

After doing the whole family thing all night, Steve and myself decided to get the party started. We hit the town and did a pub/club crawl. We had one drink at each place until we found a club that we liked and stayed for happy hour. Eight drinks later we went in search of something a bit more hardcore, but couldn’t find anything to suit the occasion. It was 1am and Steve had to walk to Sister down the aisle the next day so we called it a night.

The next day was off the chain. I had an intense argument with my Mum, over my bow tie of all things. She turns into a real bitch at events and stuff like that. She tends to dig up the past and make nasty comments. She turned me trying to put my bow tie on into how I left the Army. Whatever, way too childish for me.

The day of the wedding itself was just unlike I’ve ever seen. There was a massive hail storm and flash flooding. Some of my relatives couldn’t even get out of their hotel because of it, and missed the wedding.

The wedding was delayed for about half an hour but it went ahead and was great to be at. Everyone got a bus out to the property where the wedding was at. It took about an hour, but let me tell you it was well worth the wait.

The groom’s father got rich from pharmaceuticals back in the day and has an awesome property. Complete with a horse racing track for his trotters to train on and a croquet field/pitch or whatever you want to call it.

They had a marquee set up for the reception, but the biggest surprise was the wine. They announced that the groom had been collecting the finest wines for the past 23 years. That wine is all about sharing with friends, and what better occasion than to share it with friends at his wedding!

After a night of drinking the best red wines I have ever tasted, I said my goodbyes and got back on the bus to the hotel, which went forrrrrrrever.

I was actually going to meet up with one of my poker affiliate buddies and my business partner while I was in Melbourne but I left it too late to try or organise it. I really do suck at organising things.

After just a few hours sleep I got on my connecting flight to Brisbane. That flight was the worst I had ever experienced. I had a shocking hangover, and everyone on that flight was in a similar position. The guy on the other side of the aisle was throwing his guts up, it was bad. I did well not to spew myself.

My friend Henry was coming to Thailand with me for the first month was waiting at our departing gate. We were both pretty excited and soon after we were on our way. All I wanted to do was chat about Thailand, all he wanted to do was watch TV. Boring bastard.
We arrived at our hotel at about 4:30pm Sunday, 7th Match 2010. The first night was off the chain, hectic and just plain wild.

We started off eating dinner at some dodgy place and it tasted like shit. It ended with my spewing in my bathroom and passing out with a bottle of water in my hand (which was all over me when I woke up).

We met up with a poker affiliate buddy on the second night, well at least I did. Henry didn’t recover from the first night and couldn’t get off the toilet.

My English friend (who shall not be named because he doesn’t want to be) came over with a few friends as well. We went out to all the clubs and got pissed, danced talked poker affiliate stuff and had a big night out. The vodka Redbulls got the best of me at about 2am when I started dancing like a maniac. I was either super impressive, or terribly bad because everyone was watching me. I’d like to believe it’s just because I’m a sick dancer, but I can’t be sure of it.

I didn’t go out the third or fourth nights in Phuket. I just went to the hotel gym and pool and generally hung out. It was good to just relax and wind down from the activities of the first two nights.

Then we were off two Bangkok. We had a sweet hotel in Nana, which is in one of the main club districts. The first night we went out and explored the shopping centres and walked around. We got around on their impressive train service and took some tourist photos.

The second night we went out drinking. We started in our hotel room, and ended with a massage. There is nothing better than getting a massage after a night on the piss. We stumbled home and slept like babies.

The third day we came out to this condo complex and got a two bedroom place sorted. The complex has a pool, gym, laundry service, 24hr mini mart and a restaurant that delivers to your door. We have 3 air conditioners, so I can work at whatever temperature I feel most comfortable at.

For the next couple of weeks we pretty much didn’t do anything. We went out a few times, but that is basically it. It took me a few days to sort out the Internet, and another couple of days to buy things like sheets and pillows, general condo necessities.

I started off by going to the gym and pool everyday, then just the pool, then not going at all. The last week has been pretty rough, so I’ve found myself chilling out by the pool again and reading a book.

** Section removed due to personal nature**

For some reason I tend to hold back in the details on some of my blog posts and when I participate in threads. When I think about why, the reasons that I come up with usually have to do with professionalism and reputation.

I have always thought the best way to conduct business is professionally. That means on the forums, never attack anyone and be courteous. Although I do think I have taken that too far, and in my blog as well. Now my thinking is that I turned into a bit of a “yes man.” I’ve briefly touched on this topic before.

Regarding my blog posts, I think it comes down to being scared of the unknown. I always act professionally on here, to create an image of strength and success. Why?

When I delve deeper into that thought I think it’s a defensive mechanism. What if they find out I’m not a super affiliate and don’t want to waste their time talking to me anymore? What if I tell them what I’m doing and they use their experience to screw me?

I was spooked when I made a controversial post on my Australian gambling website. I was found through Facebook and I was called up by gambling companies with threats. I was eventually sent a letter from Betfair’s lawyers after the guy who rang me found out all the information he needed. Lesson learned.

Another thing that makes me insecure is why people visit my blog, visit my sites I link to in my blog and never make a comment or talk to me. I guess that could be just natural browsing, or is it something more sinister?

Recently, I have come to realize increasingly that affiliate forums rarely divulge any helpful material. I is always done in private conversation through IM. The more experience I get under my belt, the more I can begin to learn from people by what they are not saying.

Obviously noone is going to tell all their money making secrets, but what I don’t like is the aura of “wow thanks man, you are so awesome. You help everyone so much.” When in fact they don’t and most of it is hype. Gambling affiliates don’t do anything for free. Want some help? Throw me a link, is the general attitude.

OK, I understand we are running businesses. I guess that is why I tend to just talk to a select few as well now. Truth be told, I am in the same group as the people I am talking about above. In the past I have been nothing but helpful and willing to help. Hell I have helped a guy for over 10 hours (estimate) on his site, only for him to ignore me and ask the same questions in a thread to get the same answers.

This isn’t a rant about me getting the rough end of the stick (although it may seem that way). In fact I’m not pissed at all. It interests me, the dynamics of how this business works is truly fascinating to me.

I try to live by the rules that if you love and give and help, then it will be returned. There is an abundance of everything in this world so if you are open and free, it will be returned. But what happens when you are in a cut throat industry where everyone is fighting for an edge? Do you still live by those rules and feel like you’re getting taken advantage of? Do you only be open to your inner circle? If you do, then how is it fair to be selective with whom you feel is good enough to be granted your help?

How Do You Keep Your Emotions Stable?

This is a question that is starting to get to me. I’m such an up and down guy in so many facets of life it isn’t funny. I’m not talking about minor swings either, I’m talking about both ends of the spectrum.

Monday I was feeling elated. I went to the gym, wrote six articles, ate well and got some pending emails sorted out. I even watched some downloaded TV episodes to reward myself and was generally in a great mood.

Yesterday I struggled to get up though. I was groggy and was in that state of “I can’t get up so I’ll just lay here and sleep some more” until about midday.

This gets to me. The day before I had 3 articles written by then. I end up catching up with a close friend on mine Jess on a Skype video call. This puts me in a positive mood again and I go to the gym.

The Fitness First bitches piss me off after they stuff me around for the 6th time in a row. I’m not feeling as strong in the gym and don’t go as hard as I did the day before. I didn’t eat that well and was feeling down by this point.

I have some dinner and I start getting upset thinking about my ex girlfriend and trying to work out if I did the right thing by breaking up with her because I miss her.

I go out and buy junk food and it eat while watching TV shows. Back up a bit, after I bought it I went for a bit of a drive and was staring at the stars and deeply thinking.

After splurging on junk food and stuffing around it was in the early hours of the morning. I was talking to Simon and Jakob about some general stuff and they make me feel better (they don’t know this). I think both of them mention that they really enjoyed my last blog post and that I should do it more often. They both loved the idea that this blog will be getting more personal. Perhaps they find me interesting. It’s the small things in life that matter. Damn that’s what my ex says. I personally think I can relate to people really well because I have many life experience besides being just 23 (more on this later in this post).

So I go to sleep watching a movie and wake up at midday again in a sweat because it is so hot. My mouth is still hurting and throbbing because my gums are swollen. This has been going on for some days now and is starting to get to me.

I check my bank account and find out that I’ve been paid, that is pretty cool. Today is going to be better and I will crank out some articles and be back on track, right?

I book an appointment with the second dentist which is $60 more because they can fit me in tomorrow while the other one wasn’t until Monday. Irritates me a little, even though it isn’t that big of a deal.

I come home and I’m feeling bummed. I don’t really know why, but I think I was subconsciously thinking about Carly (my ex). My mum comes home and I find out that I have received a $133 speeding ticket from last week. I was only 11 km/h over the speeding limit. I know when this happened and I checked the speedometer at the time. I thought I was only about 4-6 km/h over the limit.

I was on my way to Mt Coot-tha to have coffee and a lamington with Carly. So now I am pissed about the ticket and how costly these things are that keep popping up when I’m trying to save for Thailand. I begin wondering how I’m going to earn a heap of extra cash in the next 6.5 weeks because I don’t have any saved. I’ve spent about 5k in the past couple of months just getting everything sorted. It doesn’t help that I’m now starting to think more about why I gave up Carly to go on this trip.

Carly & me at Mount Coot-tha last Monday.

I start browsing the forums and decide that the best way to try to snap myself out of this feeling is to open up instead of closing myself like I normally do. Usually I would do what I did last night and vege out in my room eating crap and watching useless shows.

I made a couple of small donations. One to Jim’s cause and one to the Haiti fund. I’m a pretty generous guy and like to help when I can. I think I’m kind and caring, which is one of my best attributes. It makes me feel good inside that I’m not victimising myself and am doing what I can. The donations were only $10 each but after the day had gone so far, I really didn’t like the thought of spending money. I did it anyway.

This lasts for a little while longer but then I’m bummed out again. I’m trying to work out if I should call Carly. I’ve always been very closed to people for fear of being hurt, which is what I alluded to earlier. I have always been able to say what I want to Carly and she knows a lot about me. She can help me and I feel like she’s the only one that I can talk to. Perhaps this is one of the reasons that I have always tended to have a girlfriend? So that I can open up to someone without fear of being hurt.

I watch a bit of the Australian Open tennis and have a coffee. I took some pain killers because my mouth is starting to piss me off. I’m still trying to work out whether I will make a blog post or call Carly. For some reason though, I’m starting to feel better. I’m not so bummed out and I feel like I can actually do some writing. I don’t know why that is. What part of this last process made me feel better. What snapped me out of this behaviour?

So here I am and I’m writing this blog post and am feeling great about myself. The roller coaster seems to have come to an end. But do I know why? I think it feels liberating to be able to express myself like this. I have doubts though. Will people not give a shit about me writing a long arse post about and exclaim “fuck man that was so long and boring, I don’t need to know if your mouth hurts!” Or will they think this is now a great place to come and read a blog because they can relate to what I’m saying?

My Life Story Put Simple

I’m going to share a few things with you guys and girls so it can give you a bit of an understanding about my past, who I am and why I am who I am.

I moved out of home when I was 15, I guess the teenage years hit me harder than most. I guess my family isn’t any worse than most other families but I think it is dysfunctional.

My parents divorced, which I think is mainly due to my father’s gambling addiction and alcohol intake.

I wasn’t getting along with my Mum because she was moving away and I wanted to finish school in my home town. I go to Sydney for a holiday with my Dad where he says I either have to stay with him or move with my Mum (at that point I wanted to move out by myself).

I decide to stay with my Dad because at the time I didn’t know about his problems. I quickly realise the real situation. Even though he’s a really good guy, I had my own problems as well. I decide that I’m going to move out and do my own thing. I think I ran away from many of my problems and probably still do. He went out of his way to make everything work for me in Sydney, but I just didn’t want to be there.

When I was back in my home town I stayed with two of my friend’s families for the first six months or so. I eventually get my own place which was a terrible experience. It was a house split into two, and the people of the other side of the wall were seriously fucked up. I used to go to sleep to the guy knocking his girlfriends teeth out. He was always trying to fight me when I was out the front and I called the police several time.

Long story short, I was mentally very weak at this point. I was by myself, always felt lonely and was longing to feel better. Shit was bad.

I end up moving back to Sydney with my Dad to study from home before my final high school exams. Instead of studying I work full time with him as a furniture removalist. Every Friday I would get paid about a grand and by that night I would have gambled it away. Now I have a full blown gambling addiction, awesome.

I somehow go well in my exams and get accepted into university. I take up a sales role, get an award because I am killing it. I decide to put Uni off. Just a couple of weeks after that my arsehole of a boss fires me for something stupid (some lady thinks she overheard me calling her something).

I end up applying for the Australian Special Forces because a friend of mine was in the Army and I was excited about it. I get accepted into the first ever direct entry to the Special Forces and am one of 50 guys out of about 1200 applicants to be accepted. Even though I’m a natural leader and knew I should have been going in as an office (psychologist said that too) I join up. I think I’m cool.

By the way during most of this time I have a girlfriend, as I have since I was 16. They were all messy relationships and ended badly.

Just before I leave for the Army something fucked up happens in my life. I won’t be sharing this because it is too personal. I am at the Army and am a complete mess. Not just because of what happened but because I’m just not mentally strong enough. I leave and that is the end of that chapter.

I go to University and do well even though my life is a mess. I meet some good friends and all is not that bad. I end up breaking up with my girlfriend at the end of the year and change to a better Uni doing a double degree.

I’m always depressed at this point and am listening to Tony Robbins at every available chance. This is when the new girl comes along.

I go back into my shelter, stop going to the gym, which I was doing a lot when I was training for the Army and eventually stop going to class. At the end of the first year I am half passing and half failing my classes. I go to Thailand and have a great time even though I don’t get along with my girlfriend any more.

Its at this time I begin online affiliating. It’s the start of 2008 and I get into it by finding affiliate links on poker websites. In 2007 I had been playing poker almost all day every day. I guess it was better than gambling on other things, but is still a terrible, destructive habit.

I begin sitting in my room all day every day not worrying about the outside world and become a bit of a hermit. I don’t like my house mates nor my girlfriend and am getting drunk about 5-6 days a week.

In about October of last year she breaks up with me and I’m shattered. I go to psychiatrist just because I want answers. I feed him a whole heap of stuff because I’m so depressed and he said I could have bipolar (because that’s what I was telling him I had).

Over the Christmas period of 2008 it was the toughest time of my life since I was in high school. I get through it though and have stopped drinking by this time.

Half way through 2009 I meet Carly when I move to Sydney and live with my brother and she helps me out a lot. I end up having a falling out with my brother and I’m no longer his groomsmen at his wedding next month.

Even though we are now doing long distance we grow really fond of her. I am constantly looking for a solution to be together but I don’t want to move to Sydney. I always trying to find out what I want to do in life and find sitting on a computer all day a waste of my talent and lose interest.

I finally figure out why I have been slaving away with online affiliating so long, and what I want to do with life. I want to travel, see the world and have wild experiences and have a great time.

Carly is a conservative girl, she still lives at home and gets upset over little things. She has a very close knit family and we begin fighting.

I guess we kind of grow apart at this point and lose a little bit of that desire and strong bond that we have. I go from thinking it is the right girl at the wrong time to, I’m just not sure anymore.

I place going and doing my own thing overseas on the top of my priority list. After all that is what I want in life right?

The last few days I begin to think that this could be a naive approach. I’m a strong believer in love, what if I’ve just screwed up what was perfect for me? She is everything I want in a girl except maybe more ambition and flair for excitement.

This is my cousin Steve, Carly & me on NYE.

I get bored easily, and I mean easily. Emphasise that. Am I going to get bored of girls all my life? I have that deep feeling for Carly, but why do I place my own ambition over that? What if I never get the chance to be with anyone like her again?

On the other hand though, if I went overseas and was in a relationship I wouldn’t be happy. There is something engrained in my brain that doesn’t allow me to reach my potential when I have a girlfriend.

I don’t do it deliberately but my life stops. I stop going to the gym, I stop studying, I stop working, I don’t socialise anymore. That really pisses me off. Why can’t I be in a relationship and still be able to do everything I want and not feel as though my life is set, and nothing matters that much anymore? Surely I can be with a girl and fulfill my ambitions?

That is where I’m at now. I’m currently feeling calm and relieved. I do think it has to do with sharing my life with others.

My only hope is people don’t think I’m weird and messed up in the head. I certainly am not, I just need to find better solutions to my problems. Alcohol and exclusion from life are not a healthy lifestyle choice.

I’m happy now that I know what is going to make me happy in life. In just a matter of weeks I’ll be jetting off to South East Asia with the world as my oyster. I’m hoping that will be a remedy for my loneliness and craving to be in a relationship.

Please leave a comment and tell me exactly what you think, would be greatly appreciated.

As i mentioned in my post about using time management software, I am taking several steps to stop myself from wasting all my days when I should be getting stuck in and doing my work.

I am going to get right to the point here. Below I have outlined what I am doing and a brief description of why I am doing it.

Uninstalled all Instant Messengers – This hasn’t been a massive time waster for me of late, but in the past it has been. I’ve talked about it before but I’ll mention it again. These make for an unproductive day. I think part of the psychology behind me having IM on all day is because sitting at home all day by myself can get boring. Not only that, affiliates can get detached from the real world. Maybe my thinking is that by being around other affiliates all day on IM it is kind of like going to a real job.

I don’t need IM any more. I have uninstalled both SKYPE and MSN. These are the only two that I use and I really don’t see any need to be on them. I have also blocked Gmail chat, which leads me on to my next point.

Simplifying My Life – I am a strong believer in minimalist living. I have only recently started getting into it, but already it is having an impact on me. Zen Habits is a great place to get started on it.

I use Gmail for all of my email duties. I have all my different accounts coming into the same place so I don’t need to check multiple email accounts. Going through Gmail today I realised I can set it to “HTML mode” permanently. The link is in the footer. This gets rid a lot of the crap I had installed, themes and other junk. I thoroughly enjoy the change. This also disables chat because it doesn’t have that feature.

Blocking Myself from Websites – As I alluded to in my post about blocking yourself from websites I am using a Firefox add-on called Leech Block. I have activated this again and added even more sites to the list. I have created several groups so I can customise it to my liking. I now have all the forums blocked, Facebook, sport sites that I regularly check and torrent sites that I use.

Improving As an Internet Marketer – As a gambling affiliate I am rarely exposed to much (if any) marketing outside of the industry. For a long time I have felt that I am simply replicating and repeating what everyone else is saying and doing. This is undeniably unrewarding. I am working like crazy to improve myself in all facets of working online. That includes business, personal development and life in general.

As you might have noticed I have been taking a look a some business products. There are programs that are accessible from some of the industry’s best performers. I can highly recommend Eben Pagan and Ken McCarthy. So far, for me, they are the pick of the bunch. Of course there are other big names like Jim Rohn and Dan Kennedy, but I haven’t reached that far yet. I can recommend BizTorents and Salad.tl

I prefer the courses that come in video rather than mp3 or pdf. That of course means larger downloads. I have more than enough programs now to keep me busy for an extended period of time. My plan is to watch one 90 minute lecture or so each night. I might extend that to two sessions depending on how I’m feeling.

I Am Reading Books – I have just finished reading “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. This is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of my favourite books of all time. I plan to continue to keep on reading books in a similar genre whenever I get the chance. Lately I have been slack when it comes to reading. It all comes down to consistency. This is the problem I face in numerous areas in life. I am “all or nothing” to the absolute extreme.

Living Like a Successful Affiliate – I haven’t actively started practicing habits of a successful affiliate of yet. What I believe are successful habits is enough for a whole new post. What I can quickly say that for me that involves waking up early, drinking tea not coffee, getting fit and active as well as eating right and doing Yoga.

This might seem like a hell of a lot to some people. I guess this has somewhat turned into a journal entry. This is not a pipeline dream. These are all must do’s in my life if I am to be successful. I haven’t completely covered everything but there is plenty here for me to start attacking.

If you want to get in contact with me, you can do so via this blog. Leave the email address when you make a post that you wanted to be contacted on. Leave a comment if you have anything to discuss on the issues I raised.

I am back. For good this time. In the past I have tended to be an affiliate that is everywhere. All over the forums, chatting to everyone on IM. Pumping out work like there’s no tomorrow. Then I drop off the face of the Earth. I have let my personal situation get the better of me and dictate my business life.

I wanted to make this post about being a business man. I capitalised the word “man” for a reason. Sometimes when we are faced with adversity we forget to be man. Let me give you a quick scenario to explain what I’m talking about.

I made a transaction months ago and never came good on my end of the bargain. The guy respectfully requested a refund and my natural instinct was to fight it. In sending my 2nd last email I thought to myself. Why am I fighting this? I am in the wrong.

I sent him a refund and apologised for my poor business relations. The money was pretty insignificant but that isn’t the point. When you do a deal, stick by it. If for some reason you can’t do that, fix it. Don’t fight it. Don’t come up with excuses. Be a man.

All too many times I am witness to people coming up with lame arse excuses. They’ll say “oh but I didn’t know.” Who cares mate. Do what is right.

Some Words of Wisdom

Since returning to work and completing tasks that have been hanging over my head for a long time it has made life a whole lot easier. Even though I still have a lot to go and most of the things I’ve done aren’t “actual work” they really did need to be done.

From what I’ve learnt over the past couple of months I can strongly say that I will be adopting a “do it now” approach. All too often I say I will do something and then never get around to it, even though my intentions are all in good will.

To be a business man, you need to be a man.

In the past few weeks I have gone so far backwards in my progress it just isn’t funny. I actually re-read an article I wrote in January with the same title as the post. It got me thinking about how my attitude has taken a turn to the negative and I need to slap myself back into gear.

When I was going through my iGoogle that has all of my RSS feeds in it – I also stumbled across Randy Layman’s article on a similar topic. I encourage you guys to read his article as well – Are you playing the vicitm?

Here is the article that I wrote at the beginning of 2009. This advice is something I have to revisit and implement into my life again.

As we live our lives each day, many of us don’t realise or take into consideration the events and issues that are affecting both us and others. Whether it be something minor like being selected for jury duty or something major like a death in the family. How you react, approach and tackle these issues will ultimately decide if you are a victor or a victim. You might be thinking that this is a little extreme, but fundamentally it is true.

Victim

We all know that people cry “why me” every time something happens to them. The fact of the matter is it’s how they are living their life that is the problem, not anyone else’s actions. These people will always be the victim until they change their mindset to one of a victor. For a long period of my life I was one that would be a prime example of someone that would fit into this category. There was always an excuse for everything that happened in life, no matter the issue. It would always be because so and so did this or such and such forgot to tell me that. At the end of the day you have to take responsibility for you own life and be able to embrace the challenges of life without constantly feeling sorry for yourself.

If we take a look at the dictionary meaning of a ‘victim’ we can begin to understand the mindset of these individuals (you probably already know if you are one yourself). The two relevant meanings dictionary.com provides are as follows:

1. A person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action or agency: a victim of an automobile accident.

2. a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others, or by some impersonal agency: a victim of misplaced confidence; the victim of a swindler; a victim of an optical illusion.

When we take a look at the first definition, as you can see it tends to be of a more serious and destructive nature. These events play significant roles in our lives and can define who we are and who we become to a large extent. Many will not be able to overcome the experience for a very long time, if at all. Others will mourn or grieve until the natural healing has taken place and then move on stronger and better than ever. These are the victors.

The second definition that I want to take you through without sounding too much like a lecturer has a high relevance to what we are talking about. It is all about being the victim of ourselves and others by a means of ignorance, dishonesty and misplaced confidence. In most, if not all cases we have the ability to control the outcome of defining moments in our lives. The term ignorance was italicized to highlight the fact that ignorance is one of the most vital factors in making ourselves believe that we are a victim. You will notice that after relationships break down both people will naturally feel like they are the victim. Everyone’s natural instinct is to become the victim to give them closure about events that have occurred. It is a coping mechanism that is doomed to fail and one that will hold you back for the entirety of your life unless you address it now and take control of it. To have a better understanding of how you can do this, we can now have a look at what a victor is and how they react to the same circumstances.

Victor

Now for the good stuff. This is who and where we want to be at. We want to be the victor. Well I certainly hope so anyway. There are a variety of differences and qualities that a victor has that a victim will not. One of the more crucial of these is that they take things in their stride and don’t let the moment take control of them. One of my favourite famous quotes goes something like “Define the moment or the moment will define you”. Throughout writing this article this is what is continually in my head about what it means to be a victor. Taking charge make your life’s outcomes in your control.

When we go and have a look at the definitions of a victor things do become clearer about what it means to not be a victim and how much of an impact we can make on our lives if we truly are a victor. The two relevant definitions are as follows:

1. A person who has overcome or defeated an adversary; conqueror.
2. A winner in any struggle or contest.

The key two words I want you to focus on here are overcome and defeated. This is essentially what we are talking about when we are comparing a victor with a victim. We need to grow as individuals, become the best person that we can. Overcoming and defeating the obstacles that stand in our way goes a long way to providing us with the confidence, self esteem and pride that we need to define ourselves. Without this critical element we continue along the path of always having an excuse and feeling sorry for ourselves.

Overview

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a pure black and white story. But I think that when we all have a serious think about our actions we can ascertain whether or not we reacted, approached and tackled issues in the correct manner. If you are on the high road to personal development, consider the things that I have gone through in this article and apply it to your life. It isn’t going to be a matter of our luck changing or the ‘bad stuff’ simply going away. In a lot of instances this can be an illusion.

I know for me personally it was a bit of a head spin at first when I realised that I always thought as myself as the victim, which is why I thought that I’m tougher than everyone else. Every time in life, no matter how big or small the issue there was always a reason why things just didn’t go my way. If a relationship ended because of my fault it was because past relationships had caused me to act that way. If I went and gambled my money away it was because my father was a gambler. If I didn’t show up to work because I was lazy, it was because of depression. It is hard but we all have to take a serious look at ourselvles and take responsibility for ourslves and act to control the outcome. Everything that happens in life, we have control over in one way or another. Whether it be in the issue arising, the process or the outcome, we have control over whether we will be the victor or the victim.

In reality it is a simple matter of conquering adversary in our lives, in which everyone faces. What will determine our personal development and define us as individuals though is whether we are the victor or the victim. Which one are you?

Self reflection can be one of the toughest things we can do – but ultimately to improve ourselves we must recognise our weaknesses and improve them.

One of my biggest downfalls of late is not having enough balls. When it comes down to the bottom line I have been piss farting around in critical areas. What does this mean? Let me explain a little bit further.

If you have been chatting to me lately or have read what I’ve written you may have noticed. What I’m talking about is my general outlook on the industry and how to go about things.

I can often be heard saying things like “oh that site is spammy” and “that doesn’t offer anything to the industry.” When it comes down to what makes money though, I’m lagging behind the rest of my competition.

I haven’t been going after the money terms and I haven’t been aggressive enough in my marketing. I can improve myself greatly in this area. Outside of online marketing I take a no bullshit approach, put in the hard yards and get the result. I have to take a leaf out of my own book and implement this into my online marketing efforts.

The last 24 hours have really woken me up to the fact that I am pretty soft when it comes down to this concept. I am readjusting my SEO strategies accordingly to go after the terms that will bring in the dollars. I will be gearing my sites more towards creating wealth; rather than going after the airy fairyness of providing the greatest user experience ever.

While won’t be going as far as making my sites unfriendly towards my users, I will be far more aggressive. I’m a saleman at heart and that it what I need to do; sell. I will be showing my visitors exactly what I want them to do and enforcing my call to actions.

I think if I tighten up my strategy in this regard my results will greatly improve. While it may not be easy to look that hard at oneself, ultimately that’s what is needed to take affiliating to the next level for me.

So the question to you is; are you misleading yourself or are you brutally honest in your performance? Ask yourself that question and if you know you have to change something then the answer is simple. Do it.

Grow some balls.

One of the things that is synonymous with working in online affiliate marketing is constant setbacks. I don’t mean major dramas – I’m talking about the constant waiting and disruptions to working schedules.

Let me use this weekend as an example. My sites have been down for most of the weekend because of my pathetic hosting. I have all my sites hosted on Skynet because I can have all of them in one account and I can have different c-class I.P’s if I like.

These guys are really beginning to piss me off though. I sent a message with a critical status to them and they never replied. I sent another one and they replied. You would think this would be a good thing right? Wrong. They basically told me to shut up and stop causing a fuss. it was a routine server reset. They said they do it on the weekend as that is when they are quietest.

So it seems they must have been doing this for the last four days because my sites have been down each of these days. Ha ha.

OK that is enough of my rant. What I am trying to say is this though. In this industry you have to be resilient. That mean adapting to change and taking everything in your stride. You can’t depend on any variable. At the flick of a switch our world can be turned upside down and it is the ones that deal with this best who strive forward in leaps and bounds.

I hope everyone had a good weekend. I’m heading to the coast now. I’m really looking forward to it because I will get a ton of work done without any distractions.

P.s I just got tickets to ACDC in Sydney next year!

Yesterday was one of the days that I consider to be a great representation of exactly why I am not making lots of money as an affiliate. I did all the things that hold me back and didn’t do the work that I needed to. For those that struggle with procrastination and wasting time this will be a good read.

So I woke up full of excitement at about midday. I woke up late because I was writing a post on here until about 5am that morning. When I surfaced I sat down on the the computer to check the forums/stats and have a coffee etc. By this time it was about 1pm and was hungry so I decided to go the the fish n chip shop.

After paying $17.50 for a seafood basket and a can of coke I was back and ready to work. I actually wrote down that it was 1.45 pm. At this time I got involved in a conversation on MSN with my friend about a new plugin. This guy is awesome for thinking outside of the box and coming up with great custom themes. If you ever need anything custom built his name is Kevin and he makes super gambling website designs.

I was also stuffing around doing other things at this time and it wasn’t until 4pm that I finally made a post on here. When that was done I stuffed around with this theme and general killed time and before I knew it, it was dinner time. I had probably had about 3 coffees by this point because I trick myself into thinking that coffee will give me a burst of focus and I will begin working.

So it’s after dinner and around 7pm and I’m about to begin cranking out content because I am falling behind. But again, this does not happen. My Brother calls me and we get talking for about an hour. After finally getting off the phone it is now 8pm and I’m getting pissed that I have wasted all this time.

So I open up the word document and then a girl I know signs into MSN. This kills another hour or so. I haven’t got the exact times right but I was also wasting a heap of time looking at stats, domains and tweaking this theme. After I finished doing all this stuffing around it was 10pm.

I finally focused because the pressure was on and got the first article written. I decided to have a snack and another coffee and get back into it. I once again got caught up and it was now about 2.30 am and was considering pulling an all nighter. I decided that it would be best that i go to bed and start fresh the next day because my brain was scatttered. When I drink coffee I have massive cups with a lot of coffee and sugar in it. Overall I probably had 6 coffees trying to focus.

So as you can imagine I was pretty pissed I didn’t get the work done that i wanted to. It is especially annoying because I am writing for someone else. I have set some goals for today and put some things in place that will help me out.

How to Focus as an Affiliate

I actually have a plan of making a separate page for the things that help to focus when working as an affiliate. For now I will just go through what I am going to do today.

1. The first thing I have done is turn off MSN. I only have SKYPE running and that is on busy. I only found out yesterday that when you have it on busy you don’t get distracted when you get a message. It puts a tiny little number on the icon. With MSN the windows flash a bright orange and I can’t NOT click them.

2. I am going to go to the gym today. I have been meaning to do this for afair while now. If I don’t exercise through the day I get stale and end up sitting and staring at the screen. If I go to the gym it will re-energise me.

3. I am going to limit myself to 2 coffees today. That might not seem like a tough thing to do but recently I have been drinking so many it isn’t funny. This will stop my brain scattering and leave me to my rational thoughts.

4. I am going to write 10 pieces of content today. I know Mark from SNG Planet does it on a regular basis without too much trouble so I don’t see why I can’t. I need to start getting into the routine of pumping out lots of work like this.

5. No excuses. No matter what I am going to try to the best of my abilities to ge these goals done for the day.

That about wraps up my story from yesterday and how I am working on becoming more efficient. It might seem silly to some but these small steps will help me out a lot in the long run. It is now 1pm so my plan it to write the first three articles and then go to the gym. After that i will write another and it will probably be about dinner time.

If anyone else has any suggestions on what they do to stay focused each day I would love to hear it.

Today marks the day that I have officially begun my journey to becoming a successful affiliate. I will be blogging for the next 365 days on exactly what it takes for me to become a success. Although I have been an affiliate for over a year now, the time has come to put the hard yards in and become a success. Last Friday I quit my University studies to pursue affiliate marketing full time. Yep that’s right, livin’ the dream.

It all sounds so simple right? As is the case with many things in life it is easier said then done. I am at a point in my life where I have to make a go of it. I know I can be a successful affiliate, I have the knowledge and the desire, I just have to actually do it.

One of the main reasons I am in the situation I am today is simply because I found out what I had to do and then left it at that. I read a lot of SEO and then never implemented it into my sites.

I have great hopes for this blog and I really do hope it takes off. It will offer a unique insight into exactly what I do on a day to day basis. This will allow others to read and gain a better understanding of what it takes to be a successful affiliate.

This blog will also hold me personally accountable. I made it public that I was going to be doing this and that is how I want it to be. I will be posting on this blog every day for 365 days. That is no exaggeration, I am doing what it takes to become successful. Diligence is a word that comes to mind.

At the moment I am a gambling affiliate. There are many types of affiliate markets on the internet, but this is what interests me most. Like many of my affiliate friends, I started out as a poker player. From there I turned my attention to where the real money is. This is the one of the most competitive markets to be in on the internet. In fact, it is the 3rd most compettive behind porn and health products.

So what do I hope to achieve with making a blog every day for the next 365 days? I hope to give back to the community. I am constantly seeking out information and finding out the best way to do things. By creating valuable resources along the way on this journey I believe many people can benefit from the work I put into it. I can link out to people that deserve a mention, so I can give them a small reward for being a solid affiliate.

It will also act as a guide to those who don’t fully understand what it really takes to become a successful affiliate. There are copious amounts of blogs and products you can buy that all teach you the secrets to making 1 trillion dollars in half an hour. The fact of the matter is that it is hard work. I hope you can gain an insight into my life and the things I do to make my marketing efforts work.

This will also act as a personal journey for myself. I am 23 years old and have have had many twists and turns already. I will learn more about me along the way but the one thing I know is this; the time has come to stop talking the talk and begin to walk the walk. This is all about doing. I am accountable for posting here every day and that along will keep me on my toes. I am not just doing this to show others how to do this right; I am also doing it to learn what it really takes. Get some substance about what I do.

You can expect some pretty cool things to be posted on here. During my time blogging I expect to run some tests and experiment outside the realm of gambling. I’m pretty much going to take things as they come and go with the flow. The audience I get will hopefully offer some sort of direction as well.

Thanks to everyone that has shown an interest in what I’m up to already. I will be spreading plenty of link love around the place so be prepared to be linked to. I have just installed this Thesis theme and it is really cool. It has so many options in the back end it makes my head spin. I’m not much of a techy sort of a guy so I might need to get a hand with it.

Anyone that wants to have the first blog roll link on the site can have one if they can make this place look sexy!

Over the next few posts you will be learning more about what I’m up to and where I’m at in terms of my affiliate career. I am pumped to be doing this and can’t wait to see how it develops.